I’m feeling very listless today. Got news this morning that my grandmother had fits the night before, couldn’t breathe and was sent to NUH emergency.i was seriously scared that I teared. In the bus, I started praying for God to preserve her. My bones feel weak, my heart can barely breathe. I just sense that this is the moment. For the past 20 yrs, I have been amazed at my grandma’s resilience and wondered why God has not taken her away amidst her gazillion illnesses. This time, as much as I’d hope to be positive, I sense that this may be it.

I have planned to go to Krabi on Sunday and back next Wed. Now I’m thinking if I should even go. Everyday we make choices. But we have to make RESPONSIBLE choices. I kept reiterating this to my youths during groupwork yesterday but today I question myself on whether it is the responsible thing to do..to go away when she’s ill.

Moreover, I was asked to go to mediacorp today to have a feel of the game but whether or not I’m playing it is not firmed up yet. The timing just seems not right.

I’ve had a life changing weekend. From the 13^th to the 17^th of April.

I attended the basic week for reality therapy. All in all, I just feel like a changed person in terms of how I look at life, at people, at problems and lastly, at solutions. The power to change is within YOU because that’s something only YOU can control, not anyone else. I guess I also saw it as personal therapy. My trainer is so sharp and pointed out all my sensitive spots and my value judgments. Sometimes as a Christian and adopting the values from the bible, it is really hard to accept the views of people and why they do the things they do. This is something I have learnt about myself and need to work it out within my self before I can be more effective as a therapist.