Life

Sunday, July 09, 2006

So i work for 5 days only. This morning, iwasnt so excited to sleep in. I miss going to TFSC. i guess working there really gives me a sense of satisfaction and i feel so very welcome. It helps me to keep my mind off many things.. I really enjoyed the bbq they arranged for us new staff and a farewell they organised for those leaving. i felt so at home.Today, i woke up feeling sad again. I've been dreaming about people close to my heart. twice. Last night was quite bad. So i dreaded to get on with the day. Was going back to ym today.. after so long.. was a pleasant surprise to get a lift from sharon! she was soo sweet to offer:> and so during ym, i broke down. I couldnt hold it in any longer. was bring numb for too long. Too many things within me.. I'm growing furthur and further away from God really. The word "passion" came up today and i asked myself, whats my passion? what is it i'm willing to suffer and die for? i'm gla i found my career path but..
My life has a missing piece. I know what it is. So many "happenings" in my life but.. I need God more in my life and to know that he alone is sufficient for me. I depend too much on people. I trust them too much. They turn around and teach me not to trust them again.
The friends whom i thought i was close to don't seem to give two hoots about me. An email i sent, got replies from all but one or two. Where's that one or two when i bothered to email to let you know whats going on?makes me question. Makes me wonder. whats friendship all about?
Wish there was someone i could pour my heart to but i can't. Its stuck at the throat. sometimes it purges out, sometimes it's stuck in there. I wish you were still there.

My friend is going to study for 6 years. Beginnng to wonder. will i ever get to do that? Am attending his farewell party tomo. Kinda sad but well, i should be happy for him to be so bold to take up this huge step and decision.

My grad ceremony is on Mon, 10am. I wish i can have my close ones by me but i begin to realise its not always possible.. I'm not even bothering abt it myself. Like i was so excited but now...i'm not anymore..why!

My birthday is in 4 days. usually i'd be real excited but i'm not. i think my workplace is more excited than i am that they actually wrote "happy birthday Sujeeta" on the office big whiteboard. So now the whole world knows.heh. But i'm still not excited.

whats gonna get me exciteD?! GOD!Pls come back to my life.