Life

Monday, July 31, 2006

Utterly discouraged. Maybe i don't know the genre much, maybe its my first time, with all these maybe's, i won't get anywhere.
Took a lyrical Jazz class at "O" School today taught by Ryan and i was LOST. For almost the first time in my life, not only had i attended the class alone, i was the WORST one of the lot. Everyone was so pro, they knew their technique, they knew their turns and kicks. All i knew was i couldn't keep up and i had to watch closely not to fall back. It was a beautiful song with beautiful expressive choreography but i couldnt do it. I realised. I realised i'm a jack of all trades but a master of none. Just like what Ken lim would say to the Singapore idol finalists, "you need to find your identity and style of singing". I jsut have to change the word to dancing. I've figured that i cant do lyrical jazz cos of my weak ballet background that prevents me from pursuing it unless i go ahead and start ballet again (which i don't want to do) or i go master the style i like, which is street jazz. Anything with a punch, i realise i'm too hard and i can't be soft. So after today, i'm pretty discouraged with this style and generally, my inadequecy.
I'm really a jack of all trades but a master of none. I can speakall the 4 languages but i can't master the malay, chinese or tamil language. I can't do a full case in either language. whats the point?I know how to wakeboard, surf, badminton, swim,etc but i can't do any on a professional level. I need to reconsider what i want to build and what i want to throw. HELP.
identity crisis.