Life

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I am feeling so very tired. tired of a lot of things. As much as i run away from facing reality, i'm still suffering from a broken heart.
People always tell me that i'm strong and i can go through this but guess what, ur right, i am strong but i really need God to top that up cos i can't do things with my strength alone. It hurts.
Sometimes i have so much work that i feel so occupied but there's always somethings at the back of my head. my weakness:

The soft heart.
I'm thinking of carving out a new "life", maybe abroad or something. Just to get away. i can't really accept things here anymore. But i cant bear to leave some things here too. I was actually considering going in search for overseas social work positions. i can't believe that too.
YEt on the other hand, i'm applying for a social work training scholarship offered by MCYS and it will pay off most of my loans and furthur my career in the sector. Just sat down to write my career objectives on that paper and i guess it has helped me straighten out myself again. I need God to show and lead me. He has the best 4 me.
I've been working so hard on my research proposal and it has been very trying. i have a really conscientious supervisor who replies my emails in less than 15 mins and pressures me. He expects a lot. My paper has to be good enough for publication and i'm stressed. This is scary. After handing up my proposal on friday, i had a break for a day and a half till i just checked my mail and Dr Sim had already gone through that lengthy proposal and added sooooo many comments. i couldnt even read man. the thought of doing my lit review all over again and reorganise everythign freaks me out. I thought it was good enough but guess it's not. Ive to come up with something better by friday. well, thats the dateline i gave my supervisor and not the other way round.
URGH. i dun wanna think about tis anymore. too much reading corrupts my mind too and it all manifests in my dreams.

Barely been sleeping.
*Thinking way too much. This has to stop*
So i have like a thick reading to finish by tues and i skipped my malay lect last week and am going to pay the price as i act blur in my tutorial tomo.
I dont want to do anything today!

i don't feel like in the best of moods.