Life

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

well, my day started out getting up at 12pm on krissy's bed.. and she was sleeping still too. was really amazed cos she's an early bird. little did we realise, she was taking ill. so anyway, i waited to watch surviver finale at her place and then left in a cab back home, bathed, changed and went to church to give lisa BPD. well, we're only in our third lesson so still got a long way to go.. buy she's progressing beautifully. Thank God. feel kinda ashamed though. i spend so little time preparing to give her those lessons. today's lesson was also on the bible and the 5 things we should do.. then the 4 R's of quiet time. bAsically, i do none of that. i wish i had that childlike faith like hers.. an ever increasing desire to know God more.. i mean, i feel that as one ages, there are so many things in life that steals our attention and distracts us from God. it could go down to the basics of food, sleep..The most dangerous would be relationships. naturally, another party fighting for your love and the sacrifices u make for that person. would u even make those sacrifices for God? sighz. i got a bit on the thinking track. i got to do something about my walk with God. ANyway, went to heartland with lisa and after having a short conversation with a friend, it got me thinking about what and how i define friendship and how many fall into or fall out of the line. well, i really take friendship seriously.. it sucks so bad not to know what your friend has been up to and how he / she is coping. i hate the feeling of guessing or having to find out about my friend from another party. It's a horrible feeling to me and i just had to swallow one today.
So anyway, after buying a few things, bade farewell to lisa and went off to TTSH to visit my grandma. my aunt was there and she looked so burnt out. i was really sad upon seeing granny. basically, she fractured her leg when the maid pushed her down and she's now gonna be wheelchair bound. has dementia and whatever else, u name it, she has it. so when i was there, all i did was to stroke her, stay by her and she took a while to realise it was me. I'm such an unfillial grandaughter. i've barely seen her since i got back from hk/ turkey and she's been asking for me. The least i could do today was to wait and put her to sleep and let my aunt go back and rest. As she was trying to sleep, i was singing to her and praying for her. Wish i knew how to speak malayalam/ malay well which would enhance the communication between us. I really felt so sad. wanted to even stay overnight but well, i didnt. left when i felt that she was sound asleep. I really want her to know and hear of the gospel before she passes away. Whats my Dad doing?! why isnt he able to testify to her?! sigh. feel upset at all these things nowadays. This is what happens when ur too free and u think a lot.
Anyway, was a good day of reflection. Danni won survivor guatemala by the way! it was such a surprise. i did like her and had a feeling she was gonna get there but yet i thot steph deserved it more. anyway! it was great having so much of surviver today. can't wait for amazing race finale on wed, 10am.