Life

Friday, December 23, 2005

The year started out great as I ventured into a new land and had an experience of a lifetime for 6 months. However, as I came back, I faced many issues; relationships, studies, adapting back. I started my honours year in August and I was in for a shock. To cut the long story short, this last semester was one of the hardest periods faced in my life. I struggled and struggled. I couldn’t keep up in school and I simply hated the decision to carry on. My relationship with God was topsy turvey. On one hand, I wanted to be strong on my own and I thought I could conquer it myself. On the other hand, I was reminded that there was no need to struggle because I was being carried by the wings of Jesus. I was doing project after project, papers after papers and then came the dreaded examinations. I simply lost my zest to study and so I just studied what I could. I had 5 papers in all. I couldn’t study for the cross faculty module at all and only spent 3 hours on it. I did a pass/ fail option for that module so I wasn’t so worried. My first paper was ok but I blundered with the instructions. I did both questions on one booklet instead of two. I had to face the consequences whatever it may be. It was the second paper that freaked me out. It was the advanced family social work practice exam. I did study pretty hard for this one and I liked this module the best. However, when it came down to the second question which was 50 marks, I started writing without fully grasping the question at hand. It was only after the exam that I realized my understanding of “postmodernism” was wrong and I basically wrote 3 pages of rubbish. At that moment, I knew I lost 50 marks and I could possibly fail the module because it was 60%of the final grade. Well, then came the other papers. The same problem arised for the policy exam where I just scribbled without reading the question and my answer seemed to be pure rubbish. The last paper was relatively ok and it was only then, I felt the peace of God on me. Right after the exams, I had a conversation with another friend who told me that she screwed up her exams. The seriousness of this may not be felt but failing any module this semester may cause me my graduation. It was heart wrenching. I was at a loss. I spent a lot of time calculating my CAP score should I get a D for the two modules. I thought of the worst possible scenario. Its only when my friend shared with me that I figured I had an advantage that she didn’t. I have God. I could pray.
I started getting close to God again and it was this verse in the bible from Philipians 4:6-7 that said “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus” I put the exams out of my mind. I went for a holiday and a mission trip. On the second day of the trip, my results were released and I could get it via the hotline. I was afraid. Somehow, I felt Satan’s attacks by placing negative thoughts in my head. I called the hotline while we were having R &R and didn’t get thru. Since we went into the villages that day, we didn’t have reception on my hp. Finally, I plucked up enough courage to call late at night. To my surprise, I got B + for both the modules I screwed up. That was so unexpected. Really. That moment, I was reassured of the Love of God. I know God was watching over me all this while. It is a big miracle that just happened to me. I felt foolish too because I doubted and worried so much. I didn’t trust God enough. Now, yet again, I have no reason to doubt Jesus. He is such a loving father.
Christmas is coming and many would think it’s just about gifts, fun and joy but its beyond that, that we celebrate Christmas. It is all about the birth of Jesus. As I share this testimony, I am appealing to you, to explore the meaning of Christmas further. To give yourself a chance to know this loving father. There is nothing to lose and all to gain. I am amazed by His love for me and all good things must be shared so I pray that you will take this email positively and consider my invitation to know Jesus more. If you want success in your life, this is a win- win formulae.
Should you be interested, I am hereby inviting you to a Christmas service at my church (Glad tidings church) in Hougang on the 25th of December at 10am. There is a very anointed man of God, Samuel Doctorian who will be sharing at this service. As I said, nothing to lose, all to gain. Come and be blessed!

Love, Sujeeta Elizabeth Menon