Life

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A lot has happened over the weekend but well, lets leave it as that.. i went over to Kaiyins place last night to stay over cos her mum was driving us to school..( in the end ky drove) for our first paper.. its funny but usually i'm real stressed before an exam but this time, i wasnt at ALL. its crazy.. i was still having "fun".. on sunday.. cannot add in details here.. but yeah..i hardly studied for a fact.. i thot i could once i go to Ky's place but i just had such a funny laid back attitude. fyi, i only studied 3 hours, 3 chapters for the IT exam this morning..and i was supposed to study it last night but i was still studying social support till 11pm! and all i did was to watch the last 15 mins of webcast lect with KY and i closed my book. we prayed and went to sleep.
I learnt a lot from her in a few hours. firstly, i seem to have either lost faith or have too much faith. Lost faith= not deserving to do well for exams. a lot of faith= God will carry me thru. I feel its the former rather than the latter. and KY reminded me of how everything to do with me is always miraculous and i should have nothing to worry about..i wonder if i was taking God's love for granted.. i know i can't expect Him to carry me thru well if i dun put in effort. But i have! i did study a lot , just that i hardly understood.. well, never mind abt that.. also, ky showed me her fervency to do quiet time. Yes, i admit, been a long time since i opened my bible. I do pray but reading His word.. well, i was ashamed when she suddenly asked me whether i have done QT for the day..well, i guess its a sweet reminder..Yes Lord, i get it.. pls forgive me for growing furthur and furthur away from you...
So today we went for the IT paper right on time.. i was really afraid cos i photocopied the whole textbook (against copyright laws) and i had to keep hiding the book the moment someone passed by.. sigh.. what a fear.. will never do that again..so i did the paper.. i did the first 40 qns as carefully as i could.. but i didnt have time to do the remaining 20 qns worth one mark each so for that set.. i just anyhow shaded the OAS sheet..well, probablility is 25%. Somehow although i know i lost about 20 marks just like that, i am on S/U option so i hope the bare minimum i've done will get me a pass. i feel relieved after the paper.. somehow felt that God was with me.. the best part is.. a lot of qns came out from the 3 chapters i actually read thru! so God is good..
Therafter, i went to munchie monkeys with KY and i had spagetti carbonara.. it sucked but well, good ambience.. i did last min studying.. though it wasnt much time.. just an hour later i had to run to AS1 to take another exam.. social support and networks. Although the paper was tough and not straighforward, i felt a sense of deliverance..its like the hope and trust u place in Him that will never leave u dry.. i could write.. forgot some things but i still could write.. never knew i could cos i really feared this paper and concepts were really tough to understand..well, i made one blunder though. i was supposed to sperate section A and B into two booklets but i didnt do that! well, i lookd for my lecturer to tell her so i hope its ok.. a lot of pp seemed to have done this paper differently, all different answers..but i dun care.. i've done all i could.. leave it to God.
I collected my family therapy paper.. i got a B+. sigh.. disappointed.. heard lots of my classmates got an A. well.. i know my standard now..what to do..i'm not that smart. i'm just hardworking. I guess it doesnt work or matter in real world.
Next paper: Wed, 5pm. Advanced family centred social work practise.