Life

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Felt totally powerless, had butterflies in my stomach, fever uprising, palms all sweaty.. well, Above all this, God sent his angel and through prayer, all things are possible! Praise God for his love.
"His love is irresistable, His love is everlasting"
Well, honestly, felt numb at ym today. I had a meeting for christmas celeb from like 1230 where i was 30 mins late. and then youth and then dance. I'm pretty exhausted but i wanted to let all these emotions out and worship him with all i have. During youth, the main theme to me, was SURRENDER. well, many a times we hear this, but how many of us remember to keep this word in our hearts that we should surrender every aspect of our life to Him? every single thing that we do, every obstacle we go through.. sigh, its such human nature to handle it by one's own strength which i feel i've been doing all this while. I know i've surrendered but i'm still worrying about it at the back of my head..
I've been so slack in my work. i don't know if i'm giving my best. I felt good after 2 presentations were over but i really felt outcast from one group.. well, they are basically all perfectionists and everything i do just doesnt seem good enough so i'm not given the opportunity to contribute to the project. I know we'll do well, but whats the point, i don't deserve the grade for that little work i've put in.
I can only sigh. exams in 18 days and over the next 4 days, i'll still be clearing assignments. One presentation on MoN, One on Tues, and a paper due on Wed. Come on, i know i can do it but its so scary. The one on tues, is an individual one. I've chosen to do Dance/ movement therapy but i'm finding it tough to link it to family therapy as a whole. Have i made the wrong choice to do something the class knows nuts about and will question me in my presentation? I'm asking for it but is it too late to turn back?
I skipped my family event today cos it's my responsibility to Dance for service tomo. Mum's real mad at me. I know i should have at least gone after practise but i was too beat, too much energy taken out of me and ultimately, wanted to avoid having to talk. There's nothing to talk about, no one really knows what i'm going thru and i'm sick of pretending. Had enough social activities this whole week! I need to do my work now.
Jesus is my rock and my salvation.