Life

Saturday, October 08, 2005

It was such a lazy day for me.i kept waking up at wierd hours again! and then finally at 11am..i didnt feel great. I knew it was time to study for the IT test on monday. So i took out the thick text and notes and did 2 chapters today. well, i have 8 chapters to do. It seemed like an impossible task. Well, didnt have much time cos i had youth at 3pm. Went and felt discouraged cos there were so few of us. The uni cell itself had like a half cut this time. I thought about people who should be there are are not and i felt down..well, we had crazy ice breaker by shermaine and then went to cell rpoper. was about jeremiah 41:16- chapter 43 and the disregard the people had for the revelation God gave to His people. Alex then challenged us to think about the regard we give to His word in our lives and to wait on Him to listen to Him. So there was a portion about God giving us free will vs the pre prepared will he has for us discussion and learnt that although God has a plan and will for us, humans tend to make the wrong choice and choose not to follow, landing up in disaster and going back to where they started off and then following up again. How to know ur in God's will and purposes? well, its to be close to Him and reading His word daily, focussing on Him and when we make decisions, we should have that peace of God in our lives. If something gives you unrest within your soul right from the start, we should know that God has never meant for that to be for us.
So later we went for Joanie's party. I felt a bit funny. i never felt close to her but she invited me. and there was so much effort put into her party really. her family, jeremy, church youth sups and leaders.. After eating, i just felt so full and tired that i could barely be active.. Joan was terribly sabotaged..i was shocked. Well, i was starting to get worried for my test on mon so i left with lydia at 10 and then yeah another thing made me sad. Well, one of my stronger dancers said that she was challenged to reconsider her minsitries and kinda hinted to me about dropping Dance and focussing on youth. well, there were a few things said that ticked me and made me realize that she may not be the only one in this situation of "being in too many ministries"- i guess i am too.
well, i'm dead tired now, and i can barely study. I feel really down suddenly. i think its time for me to spend more time with God and re-focus. God , don't leave me alone.